Rating the 10 Best Places to Cry in the Senior School

Ms. Watson once told our TOK class about how she has watched every new male teacher discover the phenomenon of the crying Branksome girls. On average, we spend over 1,300 hours at school each school year, making it very likely that, at some point, a tear will be shed somewhere within the BH halls. Whether crying from laughter or inevitable feelings of stress, we proudly accept this display of emotion, however much it may puzzle Mr. Porter, who claims not to have cried since he watched Marly & Me 7 years ago. To further preface, when grade 12 student Issy Ross was asked where in the Senior School she’d cried, she replied, “I think it’d be easier to list where I haven’t cried.” Without further ado, allow me to rate 10 lovely spots to cry in the Senior School.

1. Single stall bathroom

Private, a lockable door, maybe even some floorspace to sit on. The single-stall bathrooms are the ideal place for refuge. However, please proceed to one of these limited lavatories with caution. The embarrassment of emerging from a single stall only to find a lineup of people waiting outside the door may be enough to trigger another crying spell. 

Rating: Private, roomy but RISKY (8/10)

2. Regular bathroom

If a single stall isn’t close enough, sometimes we find ourselves in one of our wonderful communal bathrooms. Being bold enough to shed a tear in these stalls requires mastery of the art of silent crying. Nonetheless, as female bathrooms are universally considered a place for bonding, it is very likely you will run into someone who can help distract you in this time of need.

Rating: Convenient but potentially overpopulated (7/10)

3. School Counsellor

Guidance counsellors welcome your emotions with open arms and a feeling wheel ready at a moment’s notice. Although a visit may leave you subject to random hallway check-ins, the counsellors will always have a solution for your situation.

Rating: Productive place to unload, not for those who prefer to sit in their sadness (6.5/10)

4. Mrs. Rotherham 

This leads us to one of the most approachable BH teachers to live outside the fishbowl. Rother is always there to cry to, no matter the time of day. If you’re lucky, she’ll even sit you down in the super fancy, super reserved-for-visitors admissions room. There’s no better place for maximum crying comfort than those velvet couches. 

Rating: Motherly advice, mood boost guaranteed (10/10)

5. In class in front of everyone

Now this is a location I personally think is highly underrated. Although suggesting you cry in the middle of class might seem contradictory to this list of otherwise secluded places, public tears have proven to be quite cathartic. You will no doubt receive sympathy from your classmates and maybe even melt the heart of your teacher.

Rating: Highly publicized, but the greatest likelihood of your tears turning into a fun state of hysteria (7.5/10)

6. MS change rooms

With semi-comfortable wood benches and lots of space to roam around, the changeroom is a great place to hide. Please note: these changerooms are situated in dangerous territory, a middle school gym class may barge in at any moment. Although the two doors provide two exit strategies, they also give the opportunity for people to barge in on both sides. If you choose to retreat to the basement changerooms you must be confident in your ability to speed dry your eyes.

Rating: Roomy & private until NOT (8/10)

7. Learning Strats

The hidden paradise of Branksome. Discovering the upper level of Buccleauh can best be compared to when Christina Yang discovered the dermatology floor full of happy people and free facials. Rest assured, your day will be better after a Mars Bar from Ms. Citak and a good squeeze of the LS stuffed bear.

Rating: No better cure for crying than candy (10/10)

 8. Into your locker

Sometimes at the end of a long day, you begin pulling out your backpack only to find yourself being sucked into your locker. The darkness of these 15″ x 15″ lockers sets the mood better than any classroom’s fluorescent lighting ever could. Keep in mind, that these age-old lockers are home to the stalest of Branksome air, and it is highly probable that you will be asked the dreaded “Are you okay?” by those passing by. 

Rating: Unsubtle but sometimes absolutely necessary (5/10)

9. Stairwells

Below a flight of stairs can be a sneaky place to hideout, but if found strange looks may follow. There is simply no explanation for sitting under the stairs. Avoid high traffic times such as in between classes and know that any sobs will no doubt echo throughout the entire stairwell.

Rating: Private but unconventional, explore at your own discretion (4/10)

10. Inside the Ribbit costume

To find our favourite frog, look no further than the train of Junior School kids clutching onto Ribbit’s size 18 kilt. The Ribbit costume smiles for you when you are not in the mood to yourself. You will make the day of every second grader, and any crying-induced croaking will be entirely excused.

Rating: Creative and covert but note that the inside of the costume has been known to reach record-high temperatures (5/10)

Although this concludes my list of 10 places to cry on the east side of campus, sources have recently confirmed the excellent news that brand new crying locations are to be opening up soon. There have been reports that Ms. Hebdon would love for students to confide in her, and Ms. Koscek has allegedly designated the back of the new art studio as a certified ‘crying corner’. Happy crying Branksome!